You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
