If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize