So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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