Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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