I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
