We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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