No stitches, just platelets and will power
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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