he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
