Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
