somebody snuck up and got me drunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
