can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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