I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
