No stitches, just platelets and will power
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
