do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
