they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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