Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
