I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
