I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
