Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
