So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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