It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
