She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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