don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
