Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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