Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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