I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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