The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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