This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
high people should be assigned attendants
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
