It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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