this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
