It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
