Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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