dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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