Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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