The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
