operation harelip BJ is a go
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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