batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
