well you can't waste a boner
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize