i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
