Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
