is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
