talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
