he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
