should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
