so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
