2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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