I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
