The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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