Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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