My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
