So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
