Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
MIDGETS
????
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
