the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
