My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
