Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
