First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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