My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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