so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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