If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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