Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
