We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
