you would pick up someone in the library
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
